How is your day going? I hope refreshing.
If you took my advice last week and basked in silence, how was it? I had the opportunity to get away for a little bit and it was great! Do not underestimate the beauty in rest and sabbath.
Now for today’s post! It’s Father’s Day! Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers: the would bes and the have beens.
I want to write about my perspective on how cool I think fathers are, and I don’t think we say it enough.
I had the beautiful honour and privilege to grow up with my father. I wish I could tell you that he was a perfect man, or the best in world, but I can’t. He wasn’t perfect, neither did he enter into a world best dad competition. I can tell you for sure though that he loved me the very best way he knew how, he chose to love me and be there for me, and if I had to choose a father, it’d be him. He was the first man I knew, the first man I loved. I saw his strengths, his weaknesses, his highlights and his flaws. I saw his intention for me and it always made me feel so safe. On days he was perfect and on the days he wasn’t, I never questioned his love for me. He might not have intended to, and I might not have realized it then, but he made clearer to me some of the aspects of God’s love. Some not All, because like I said earlier, he wasn’t perfect.
I’m realizing and recognizing that nobody is perfect, even though I have heard it a plethora of times before. I used to unconsciously nurse a bitterness for men because of the evil I have seen some men bring upon the women in their lives. I remember sometimes asking myself “if he thought this lowly of her, why did he even marry her in the first place?” I believed the hateful rumour that all men are dogs and don’t have the capability to love women the way they should be loved. I was wrong.
By God’s grace, I began listening to the guys I knew. I began paying more attention to them as opposed to judging them without getting to know them. I discovered something. Yes, women have been historically oppressed, and yes, that is unacceptable. But we have slowly taken our eyes off the pressure that was put on men as a result of patriarchy. I began to see this unspoken weight that every man bears, the unrealistic expectations we have of them. They shouldn’t cry, they shouldn’t be tired, they shouldn’t complain, they shouldn’t get scared, they shouldn’t be uncertain… they shouldn’t be vulnerable.
Not all men are evil, which makes sense because not all women are good as well. So many women on Father’s Day shout out the women who stand in the place of a father, but there’s so much fewer, if any, for men on Mother’s Day. Of course the statistics lie in favour of children abandoned by their fathers, but you’d be surprised at the frequency of children abandoned by their mothers as well.. its comparable !
Maybe I should stop here for now. The point I am trying to make is that women shouldn’t be afraid to help men. Help the man(men) in your life. It doesn’t mean he is more important than you. It means he needs you.You know I think there should be an international men’s day too, not because I don’t think women have been historically treated unfairly, but because I don’t want our feminism decisions to stem from a place of bitterness. I want us to fight for our due recognition but not hate men in the process.
At the end of the day, we all precious in God’s eyes and we need each other to survive. So make sure you take time out to appreciate men today without drawing some of the attention to yourself. This day isn’t dedicated to you. You have yours 😉