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Hi y’all!!

How’s the Sunday going? I’m so glad I waited till after church service to write this blogpost because I feel like the topic we covered at  church today is so relevant and necessary.

I’ll just get straight to it and hopefully this should be brief, concise and straight to the point. We started a series on Relationships. If you want to listen to the podcast of this sermon or other sermons from church (they’re so good!! I promise), you can find them here.

Today’s focus was on telling the truth. Our pastor emphasized the need to be honest, because our dishonesty has the potential to greatly hurt the people that we care about. It is sometimes literally a matter of life or death.

I was convicted as he was speaking because I knew that the table he was shaking, had me on it. It is very hard for me to be completely honest with someone if I think that the conversation will be any bit uncomfortable. Its such a difficult thing for me to do and I avoid having those conversations as much as I possibly can. I was reminded today how toxic that can be, for me and the person involved.

I used to work at a company that highly prioritized safety. During one of our safety seminars, the speaker told us the story of a man who was lifting heavy equipment without the appropriate gear. The speaker was a new manager at this site and when he saw the labourer working without the appropriate gear, he felt compelled to call him out on it but reluctant as well. Long story short, he told the worker how unsafe what he was doing was, but didn’t exert his managerial authority and demand that the man employ the appropriate protocols for that task.

This worker had an accident very shortly after (that very day) and he broke so many bones, punctured his lungs and he almost died. I remember him telling us of how when he had blood all over his hands and was standing over the worker who had just being in the accident, waiting for the ambulance, the worker asked him to tell his wife that he loved her. The worker thought he was going to die, and our seminar speaker felt guilty and partly responsible for it.

This story made me think so deeply and I hope it makes you think deeply too. if we know the truth, we should be very enthusiastic to share that truth with the people around us. It could literally save their lives. This truth applies to safe practices as well as sharing the good news about Jesus Christ. We are surrounded by hurting people and it is our responsibility to introduce them to or remind them of God’s unending love.

I am totally preaching to the choir and shaking a table that has me comfortably seated on it, but I realize that I really need to do better about being completely honest with people around me when it comes to matters of health and happiness, be it physical, mental or spiritual. I hope we can take on this responsibility together and be more intentional about honesty. May God help us as we do.

Have a beautiful day everyone.

❤️

‘Kinah

 

Its Easter! Happy Easter to everyone!

I’m grateful to live in a country that publicly celebrates Easter. When I was younger and didn’t know or understand much about what this celebration intends to commemorate, I used to either go with the tide, or ignore the significance all together. Now, I am older, a little wiser, and more intentional about my choices. I have learned how this is probably the most important event to commemorate: The death and resurrection of my saviour Jesus Christ.

I was having a conversation with someone yesterday, really sweet person. Our conversation lead to me mentioning that I had been in church earlier that day for Good Friday service. She didn’t object but instead encouraged my belief in the “myth”, implying that if people decide to follow myths to help them live well, that’s okay. Now you know that did not sit well with me at all, but I did not push that topic further, because I did not feel equipped to steer that conversation toward a better course, not yet at least.

Some people truly believe that people choose some faith to help give their lives some definition, or to help them become better and do better, and that is true. People identify with different faiths for a plethora of reasons. This, to me, is unfortunate because that is unnecessary bondage, in my opinion. I am a firm believer in conviction. I think we, as people, have to be committed to whatever paths we choose. I believe that it is our responsibility to take actions with an understanding of the implications of those actions.

It is very hard for me to have christian history conversations with scholars because I am not a bible scholar. They probably know more about the history of the church than I do. I try to catch up, but lets face it, that is a futile pursuit and frankly I am not devoted to that journey. Why? Because I am convinced that outsmarting them is not motive enough. When I do talk to intelligent people who do not accept the gospel of Jesus Christ, I get one of three “vibes” from them: it is either they know enough about the gospel and reject it anyways, they don’t know about the gospel and are not interested in finding out, or, my personal favourite, in their search for knowledge they came upon the gospel and they are wrestling with what that means for them.

You see, I understand the need to have to rationalize everything. One thing I always have to remind people of whenever I have faith conversations with them is that I did not grow up in a home surrounded by believers. I grew up in a family of people who had questions, who were trying to understand life and God the best way they knew how, and that of course led me to ask questions of my own. I used to not understand why everything wasn’t laid out for me as a child, why I didn’t just have one truth given to me to accept and conform to. I would have liked that. But now I see that one of the best gifts God gave me is a family that didn’t have it quite figured out. You know why? Because it made me curious to search out the truth I knew was calling out to me.

Through a series of events that I hope to fully explain in the near future, I came upon the gospel according to John from the bible and my life was radically transformed in a matter of months. It was not that I had never seen or read a bible before, it was that this time, I was looking for answers, looking for truth.

I found Him, I found truth, the truth we celebrate today; that this man, this God, Jesus, son of David, son of God, sun of righteousness, left His throne on high, came to earth, lived a perfect life, was tempted in every way that I am, didn’t yield, succumbed to a horrible death he did not deserve, waged war against hell, and returned on the third day with great victory, my ransom paid, my freedom gained, none of which I could have even thought about asking for. The day the weight of the preceding sentence hit me, that was the day my life’s trajectory was altered forever.

Now I live everyday trying to unpack just what that means in my life. Jesus’ love literally gave me the life I have now, in every sense of the word. Every time I remember that truth, I weep. My heart hurts and rejoices at the same time. I am overwhelmed by the depth and intensity of such love, and sometimes perplexed as to what I did to deserve it.

I titled this blog post “Bride: not oppressor, not victim” on purpose. It may seem like I digressed a little, but I needed you to understand why I write what I am about to write. The church has morphed and transformed in recent centuries. She has done a lot of wrong, and a lot of right. She has conquered, failed, risen, fell, risen again. She has been an oppressor, and oh she has been oppressed. She is not perfect.

Whenever I talk to people who have animosity towards christianity, I now understand that it is because they just don’t get it. You see, when you take your eyes off the logos, the religion, the idea, your opinion, and get out of your own head; once you look to the cross and see just what the Lord Jesus did for you, and you catch a glimpse of how He sees you, I promise, all these things won’t matter anymore. Why? because there is no turning back for the bride when she beholds her true groom. There is no turning back for the heart who has seen the cross.

So on Easter Sunday, here’s my challenge to you, hear Jesus out. Hear what He has to say. The journey is not a straightforward one but you’ll know it is the right one. I promise, you’ll know.

Love always,

‘Kinah

“Stay true to who you are”, they say. Well how hard can that be? Turns out, very!

Time is such a strange thing, so short, yet so full of very impactful moments. From the relatively little time I have spent in this beautifully complicated world, one of the things I have learned is how difficult it is being yourself. Recently, a lot of motivational talks and advocacy speeches have emphasized to their target audience the catchphrase “Be yourself”. While, that is great advice, I have a problem with how it is used. In fact, I think it is a highly abused suggestion. It actually scares me how the right advice taken the wrong way can be so damaging on such a global scale.

Let me explain…

I believe that a lot of people cannot be themselves because they don’t even know who they are. Some others can’t be themselves because they cannot be bothered to investigate who they are, but instead, settle for the comfortable version of who they think they should be. You see, disillusion is one of the easiest states to attain. It is so easy to convince yourself to accept your decisions as noble. Its such a dangerous power we have, choice. We can choose to lie to ourselves, and the even crazier thing is that we believe a lot of the lies we tell ourselves. We settle and convince ourselves that it was the best choice we could make for ourselves.

We fall prey to our vices and live comfortably in our own vomit all in the name of being ourselves. Have you ever noticed that some of the things you do make you more sensitive to judgement from people? Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever struggled with what you knew was a bad habit, but somehow got to the point where  you convinced yourself that if you just didn’t hide anymore, you’d be free to do that thing without that feeling of guilt anymore? That didn’t change the questionability of that thing now did it?

Nowadays, its really hard for me to engage in conversation with someone who does something I do not agree with. Contrary to what some of you might assume, it is not because I don’t want to have that conversation. It is that blend of defensiveness and hostility that makes me uncomfortable. You see when I do something that I know is questionable, I usually feel the need to get ahead of it and defend my actions before I am accused. I don’t want to have to feel bad so I use my smart words to get ahead in the game. I win, I think, or do I?

You still get the heat for not conforming to the norm, but the interesting thing is that times have changed, and so has the norm. Now, if I tell someone who smokes weed that I don’t smoke, they almost always feel the need to educate me on how weed is actually good for me. You see what I don’t quite get is the desire to get my approval, disguised under the lack of care for my opinion.

Confusing times I live in. All over the place, sort of like this post. I just want to share some of what I am thinking. And weed, use it as a metaphor if you will; but what I guess I am trying to do, is to draw your attention to the fact that whether the whole world agrees with you, or the whole world turns their back on you; what is good for you is good for you and what is bad for you is bad for you.

Now I know that life is not black and white, but I also know that everything is not grey. Think on that…

Love always,

‘Kinah

What should we talk about today? Hmm, let’s talk about racism. 😊

If you don’t know me, I am from the continent of Africa. I was born and raised in Nigeria.

Being African is like being on the absolute bottom of the racism food chain. Yeah, you read that right… absolute! Tell me of another race who is more discriminated against ( I bet you can’t though). I guess this is a good time to tell you that not all black people are African. Its 2018, and even though we like to think of ourselves as having come a long way, sometimes I can’t quite tell if we indeed have.

Anyways, today, I want to tell you a story after which I’ll ask you to tell me what you think.

My friend and I were waiting for the bus after church today and we met this woman at the bus-stop. She goes “Where are you girls from? The United States?”, to which we replied “no”. She then went further to inquire our actual places of origin, and my friend told the woman that she is South African. This woman replied, “Kenya?” and my friend patiently responded “No, South Africa, there’s a country called South Africa.” The lady went on to say she knew that (of course you did! 🙄 ) and that people from here don’t typically know about Africa, “you understand?”, she said. You may wonder where I was this entire time. I just walked away to the other end of the bus-stop. You see, I am not as patient as my dear friend and I had been in that type of conversation way too many times. “Not today!” was my motto of the hour.

That is a highly summarized version of what went down, but if you are African, especially living in the diaspora, the scenario I have just described is probably not new to you. I have been in conversations and listened to people from both sides of the story tell me either why they feel justified to ask those questions, or in my case, why I am justified to react to those questions in the manner that I choose (today that meant walking away).

I don’t really want to write too much on this topic, but depending on responses, I might write a sequel to this post. There are three things I just want to let anyone reading this to know today, whoever you may be.

  1. There is a right and a wrong way to ask a question.
  2. There is a right and a wrong way to respond to a question.
  3. There is time for everything.

I would like to hear my readers’ thoughts on this story from today. How do you think I should have reacted? What should or could the woman have done differently? My friend, what do you think about her response and what would you have done differently? Finally, what are your thoughts on the significance of the three things I highlighted above?

I will leave you with this; we are all responsible for making our world a better place, and I think that when one person fails at their responsibility, it affects all of us, more than we even recognize.

Have a lovely week ahead folks! I look forward to reading your comments.

 

Yours affectionately,

‘Kinah

The flutters and the butterflies

One of the things I love about being a young adult is the chance to dream big; to be able to picture what I want my life to look like and work towards it. As young people, we get to take risks, make hopefully not too costly mistakes, and as such, learn to improve and…

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Live Conscious

When I was much younger, I used to go to church with my mum, mostly because I didn’t have much of a say in the matter, and also because I was afraid of “going to hell”. I don’t remember where I first heard about hell. All I know is that when I was younger, hell…

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