Memoirs – PS: He Loves Me

I remember one day, when I was little. I was so sick and I had to take drips for the first time. I had to take it by mouth because they couldn’t find a vein and it was nasty so I just couldn’t drink it. I felt so sick, like I was going to die; and I don’t think I fully knew what death was at that time…. I just remember feeling like I was going to die. So I told God, I said I’m tired of feeling this way, I’m going to try and sleep now, and if you know you won’t heal me, please just kill me in my sleep. I’d rather die than keep feeling this way. I slept… and I woke up… with a new burst of energy. My mom was at the backyard, with some people, can’t remember who, probably aunties… and they were glad I was feeling better when I ran out jumping like I normally do. They probably thought it was the drip working, but I knew, that it was the conversation I had with God that resulted in that. God had responded to my request by healing me, letting me know that He didn’t want me to die. I was so young, but I won’t ever forget. 

There are days when I feel like God doesn’t hear me when I ask Him for things or just doesn’t care… but at times like this, when I decide to look back and think of how good He has been to me, I realize that He never gave up on me and He is still that same God who cared enough for the little sick girl in her room. There’s nothing He won’t do for me and He has proven it time and time again, He doesn’t want me to die! 

I am thankful for that today. I’m thankful, I remember and I am thankful. 
Whenever you’re feeling discouraged, do like I just did. Think back. And you’ll see that God has been nothing but lovingly excellent! Through it all! And you will get through whatever today’s hurdle is, and tomorrow’s, and the next day’s. 
God’s love remains unfathomably wonderful and overwhelming. 

Spend some time meditating on it whenever you get the chance. It’s the most beautiful feeling I’ve ever felt: and I feel lots of feelings.


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