The flutters and the butterflies

One of the things I love about being a young adult is the chance to dream big; to be able to picture what I want my life to look like and work towards it. As young people, we get to take risks, make hopefully not too costly mistakes, and as such, learn to improve and get better. Every age has its perks and it is a huge blessing to be a young adult.

I want to write about what has been on my mind lately, which is the whole idea of being in love. I’ve briefly written about my views on the kind of relationship I would like to have on a previous blogpost, but today I want to go into just a tad bit more detail; especially because it has come up a lot in my recent conversations.

Being as honest as I can be, and as vulnerable as I can afford to be at this time, here’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I have recently noticed that a lot of my friends, and even family, are of the opinion that I am not interested in a relationship. Just FYI guys I’ve had high school, post high school, college and post college crushes 🙂 and still counting. I am a hopeless romantic who can spend an unholy amount of time watching all the romcoms on Netflix. I could watch an emotional and romantic scene in a movie on repeat for pretty much forever, because that’s how fascinating love is to me.

As much as I am entranced by the idea of someone looking at me like I’m the only girl in the world, I have also witnessed the harsh realities of relationships. While personally, I have never been in a romantic relationship before, I am surrounded by people who are or who have been in one or multiple. From a very young age, I got to see what dysfunction in a home looks like. Even outside my own home, I saw and heard about sad tales of couples whose love stories took a turn for the worse.

I didn’t quite understand this when I was younger, but a question I have always had and still have is, why would you love someone so much at a point and then get to another point where you can hurt them so much without batting an eyelid? I used to think there had to be a straightforward answer to that question. The older I get, the more I realize that it is in fact, not the case.

I do not think that love is supposed to be like this. I don’t think the butterflies are supposed to die at some point. I’ve heard that so many times. Call me naive, but I just don’t believe it. I don’t want to. I understand that real life comes with real situations that the movies choose to conveniently ignore in relationships portrayed in the make-believe world. That being said, I choose to draw strength and hope from those random old couple videos I see on facebook. I’ve seen a 90 year old man’s eyes still light up when he looks at his beloved. I have seen an old and grey woman still blush at the sight of the love of her life. I have seen that random old couple hold hands on the bus and share a kiss. I refuse to believe that they are the exception to the rule.

They are the rule.

When I do get into a relationship, I hope it is with someone who thinks I am the best thing ever. I hope he sees light in me and he ignites my fire with his passionate support. I hope me makes me feel like I was so right to believe in the forever flutters and butterflies. I hope I am able to do the same for him. I hope we make each other extremely happy for a very long time. I hope through all the ups and downs, we stay committed to our choice of not giving up on each other. I hope it never gets boring or tiresome. I hope it never becomes just another routine.

You know why? Because I believe in love, in a definition of love that transcends mere carnality, and I won’t stop believing. I could talk about why I think my generation has a messed up view of what love is, but I’ll leave that for another blogpost. I do want to end with this: The fact that many people fail at a task does not in any way mean that the said task was engineered to make everyone fail. Sometimes we just suck at reading the manuals and actually knowing how to make these things work. I hope that we can see the importance of being willing to learn, in the issues of flutters and butterflies, and in the issues of life in general.

I wish you a love that meets and exceeds your expectations.


What are your thoughts on love? comment below and let me know what you think! 🙂

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